Here is an archive of my most recently-written humor pieces and other articles:
Just A Few Things Your Child Will Need for Today’s Classes (11/25/20) 
My Failed Rally to Keep Schools Closed (7/29/20)
Safe Distance Summer Camp (5/17/20) 
Update on the Grocery Delivery We Fooled You Into Expecting (4/15/20) 
Can My Son Get More Worksheets Before the World Ends (3/30/20)
My New Breathing App (2/4/20)
It’s Finally Time for Me, James Garfield, to Enter the Presidential Race (11/15/19)
If Board Game Titles Were Honest (January 2019) 
What the School Photographer Said (11/28/18)
Out of Reach (9/21/18) 
The Craziest Official Tech Startup History You Will Ever Read (2/2/18) 
Dear Son, I’m Sorry (12/2/17)
Year of the Rooster (book released November 2017) 
Welcome to Riley’s Third Birthday Party (10/4/17) 
[Interview] How to Become a Harvard-Law-Trained Novelist (2/22/17) 
[News] NBC Developing The Curve for TV (9/7/16) 
Winning the News (Re)Cycle (7/5/16) 
[Review] Fast Times at Fake Law School (6/13/16) 
Code Breaker (5/3/16)
Alter Lego (3/23/16)
Stop Trying To Teach Your Fetus To Read (2/17/16) 
Elephant in the Room (2/3/16)
My Favorite Imaginary Trader Joe’s Products (12/15/15) 
Less is More (12/4/15)
Uses for the Potty (11/14/15)
Foolproof Ways to Get Your Child to Wear Socks (11/12/15)
Freud Chicken (11/4/15)
Hey, Dads: Come to Music Class (10/14/15)
Pregnant Paws (9/9/15)
Flight Risks (8/26/15)
Car Seat Installation Guide (7/15/15)
A Toddler’s Guide to the Perfect Vacation (7/14/15)
Our Nut-Free, Gluten-Free, Adult-Free Nursery School (6/10/15)
Don’t Read All About It (5/13/15)
There Are No Egos In Our Knitting Group (4/28/15)
Spring TV Preview (3/25/15)
Death by One Thousand Beeps (3/17/15) 
Pantsuits1947@AOL.COM (3/4/15)
Brooklyn Syndrome (2/25/15)
Real Pages from Real Children’s Books (2/19/15)
A Baby’s Guide to Sleep-Training Your Parents (2/3/15)
Paradesk (2/3/15)
The Future of Taxicabs (1/1/15) 
Parenting: A Dad’s Year in Review (12/5/14)
An Early Review of the iPhone 74 (11/1/14)
KC At the Bat (10/15/14) 
An Oral History of the Citi Field Fences (10/14/14)
Can Insects Learn to Love Eating Us? (10/1/14)
Please Let Me Put My Hands All Over Your Baby (9/15/14)
The New Golf (9/2/14)
Having a Premature Baby Turned Me Into a Lunatic (8/23/14)
Food, Now Everywhere (8/22/14)
Some Ideas for the Makers of Soylent (8/1/14)
Ten Travel Websites You Won’t Be Seeing Soon (7/21/14) 
Announcing Wordzleybux (7/1/14)
How One Trip to the Airport Made Me a Feminist (6/8/14)
Selfie Improvement (6/2/14)
What my Seven-Month-Old Son Knows About Fantasy Baseball (5/6/14)
Amazing New Imaginary Contraptions for Your Not-Imaginary Baby (5/1/14)
There’s a Snatcherblot in my Catcherslot (4/23/14)
We Apologize for the Cornfusion (4/15/14)
Join My Children’s Book Club (4/2/14)
Your Baby’s Klout Score is in the 25th Percentile (3/27/14)
The Meditation Room (3/25/14)
SAT Out (3/11/14)
Energy Saving Tips to Reduce Your Electric Bill (3/5/14)
The FitBit Brute Force Wristband (2/25/14)
Flu Season Survival Tips (2/19/14)
Trash Talk (2/18/14)
CVS to Stop Selling Everything (2/8/14)
Scapedogs (2/3/14)
Chris Christie: Toilet Paper (2/1/14)
Surprise, It’s That Thing We Think You Want (1/24/14)
PurseMed (1/13/14)
This Preposterously Inexpensive Discount Bus (1/13/14)
It’s Not About Christmas, It’s Just About a Tree (1/6/14)
A Reluctant Welcome to our Holiday Party (1/4/14)
My Year of Mistakes (12/29/13)
When You’re On Top, You Can Have a Beard (12/16/13)
Your Workplace Holiday Party (12/16/13)
The Mystery of Pumpkin Spice (12/9/13)
Son, my smartphone isn’t actually attached to my hand (11/9/13)
Adopt-a-Highway (10/28/13)
Thank You for Inspiring Me To Steal My Wife’s Breast Milk (10/25/13)
Y Combinator Combinator 2014 (10/17/13)
The Maximum Security Children’s Zoo and Concert Hall (9/27/13)
Why I Need My Gun at Starbucks (9/20/13)
The Writing Business (9/16/13)
Underground, Illegal, and Delicious (9/13/13)
Entirely Real Writing Contests and Submission Opportunities (9/6/13)
I Spent an Hour Away From the Internet (8/30/13)
A Note About Our Zoo (8/22/13)
The Anti-Semitic Urine Collector (8/21/13)
Novelist: The Video Game (8/16/13)
Our Terrible Nanny is Available Starting Immediately (8/5/13)
The Anthony Weiner Crisis Management Consulting Firm (8/1/13)
Best Video Games of 1635 (7/27/13)
Sex on Campus: Dear Mom (7/19/13)
Announcing my Candidacy for Comptroller (7/10/13)
The Foie Gras Fountain is in Conference Room B (7/5/13)
Brand New, Recently Renovated (7/1/13)
[INTERN, GIVE THIS HUMOR PIECE A TITLE] (6/24/13)
An Important Security Update About Your Microwave (6/20/13)
“Who’s on First,” 2013 Edition (6/18/13)
FAQ About Our Destination Wedding (6/12/13)
Non-GMO? Non-OMG! (6/7/13)
Welcome to the Thrifty Inn (6/3/13)
Throwing Out Tonight’s First Pitch… (5/29/13)
Anonymous Billionaire: The Land of Ice (5/16/13) 
The Puppy Diet (5/4/13)
Work from H.O.M.E. (5/3/13)
Greetings from Your Soon-to-be Realtor (4/29/13)
Belly Rub (4/25/13)
Please Consider The Environment Before You Print This Humor Piece (4/22/13)
I Have So Many People To Thank… (4/19/13) 
About Our Serious News Magazine’s Hip New Redesign, Yo. (4/16/13)
Pardon the Construction (3/25/13) 
Artisanal Preservington, New York (3/14/13)
Rest of the Fests (2/28/13) 
“My Grandmother Reviews Her Medication ” (2/27/13) 
Frequently Asked Questions about Girl Scout Cookies (2/21/13) 
How To Internet For Writers (2/7/13) 
Friends, Classmates, Donors (1/30/13)
Uncle Gets a Name (1/30/13) 
My Girlfriend (A Manti Te’o Satire) (1/25/13)
Weather or Not (1/16/13) 
Top New Friend Prospects (2013) (1/16/13)
2013 eBook Preview (1/15/13)
Your Workplace Holiday Party (12/19/12)
Temple Beth El Dorado: Chanukah Edition (12/6/12) 
Cabin Pressure (11/26/12)
Thank You For Being My Health Care Proxy (10/31/12)
A Friendly Change To Our Access Policy (10/29/12) 
Horses, Bayonets, Cannonballs, and Sharp, Pointy Rocks (10/24/12)
Binders Literally Full of Actual Women (10/22/12)
Temple Beth El Dorado: Real G-d. Fake Synagogue. (10/19/12)
Entering The Academy (10/2/12)
The iMop 5 (9/24/12)
Tying the Interfaith Knot (9/24/12)
Todd Akin, Chief of Police (8/22/12)
Uncle Changes Diaper (8/15/12)
Tastes of New York (8/13/12)
Subscription Optional (7/18/12) 
Great Vacation Rental Available (7/9/12)
Portion Control (6/27/12)
“Great Players Don’t Need A Psychiatrist” (6/25/12)
Sunday Routine (6/3/12) 
A Note on the Paper (6/1/12)
Fetch the Remote (5/29/12)
Sorry– My Personal Website Is Now Behind A Paywall (5/10/12)
MLB TeeVee: Park Factors and Recreation (5/7/12)
New Patient Information (4/27/12)
I Can Explain (4/16/12)
Mike Daisey’s Stories from the Campaign Trail (4/5/12)
Killer Read (4/3/12)
Chinese vs. French Parenting, as discussed by an awful Book Club (3/30/12) 
The Uncle and the Baby Take Manhattan (3/16/12)
We Book You Writer (3/5/12)
PaleyFest Television Panel Bingo (3/2/12) 
These Are A Few of Mitt’s Favorite Things… (2/24/12) 
Butterscotch Dust (2/13/12)
What Happens in Ittoqqortoormiit Stays in Ittoqqortoormiit (2/6/12)
Burn Notice (2/6/12)
The Creepiness of Pandora’s Music Recommendations (2/1/12)
Thank You, Small Section of this Country… (1/23/12)
Fact-Checking the Candidates on… Everything (12/22/11)
Carmageddon: The Unproduced Screenplay (7/14/11)
Technology-Enabled Congressional Sex Scandals of the Future (7/8/11)
London Set Paris Match (July 2011)
Before You Take This Medication (4/4/11)
Anonymous Millionaire (Dec 2010)
One Bedroom Thirteen and a Half Baths (9/21/10)
Memo to Synagogue Membership (Jan-Feb 2010) 
The Anonymous Lawyer on Law Firm Bonuses (11/5/09) 
The 51st Best Law Firm for Women (8/12/09)
The Anonymous Lawyer’s Law Firm Layoff Memo (8/6/09)
Welcome to the Law, One Ls (8/31/07)
A New Law School Curriculum (11/15/06)
The Free Meal Appeal (WSJ.com) (8/17/06)
The Anonymous Lawyer on the Dreaded Bar Exam (7/13/06)
A Christmas Carol (Dec 2007) 
The Holiday Brief: A Jewish Lawyer’s Survival Guide (Feb 2007)
Job Posting (8/31/05) 
Spring Training Chat, 2032 (2/27/12)
New Rules for Fantasy Baseball (1/19/12)
Strawman Sportswriter’s Hall of Fame Ballot (1/9/12)
Oakland A’s Trades of the Future (12/29/11)
All Your Prospect Questions, Answered (12/19/11)
Bud Selig’s Dream Realignment Scenario (11/22/11)
Errata: 2011 World Series (11/10/11)
Your Favorite Team’s Top Five Prospects (11/7/11)
Fantasy Mailbag: Rejected Questions (10/31/11)
Fantasy Baseball Purity Test (10/13/11)
8 Fake Online Games More Pointless Than “Sheep Invaders” (5/3/12) 
Revealing The Soul of a Soulless Lawyer (NY Times, 12/26/04)
Virtually Fiction (Harvard Gazette)
Time’s 50 Coolest Websites 2005
Anonymous Lawyer Has Fun With The Firm (USA TODAY)
Anonymous Lawyer in Development for Television with Sony and NBC (The Futon Critic)
Interview With Jeremy Blachman (New York Inquirer)
